What Ifs
by light-and-Shadows-Mist-and-ice
Summary: A 'family gathering' brings questions about the past and the future for Tam and Keefe. A slice of domestic lie post-Neverseen for the gang.


"Keefe, why is there a bucket of black sludge above our bed?" Tam asked the blond haired elf sitting across from him.

"I don't know Tam, why _is_ there a bucket of lack sludge above our bed?" Keefe replied not looking up form what he was reading.

"You can't just answer a question with another question." Seven years together and he still pulled something like this. Sure, the number of stunts like this had dwindled since the early years of their relationship, but occasionally he would do stuff like this. Putting a bucket of mysteriously black sludge over the bed.

Which was, Tam noticed over the middle of the bed. Which would have come back to bite Keefe. He never stayed on his side anyways.

"Tam, I'm telling you that this time it was not me." It would have been more convincing if Keefe hadn't had the most sheepish grin on his face.

Tam gave him a look. A look that suggested that he didn't believe him at all. Which he didn't.

"Fine, I give up I was sleep pranking again." Tam rolled his eyes. "It's a real problem you know." He paused for effect. " It effects like 0.05 percent of the elven population." Tam sighed,

"That's like two elves Keefe," sometimes Keefe could really push his buttons. Still, he was really cute when he lied, that little smirk on his face, the way he kept his hands in his pockets, how he never made direct eye contact. Speaking of eyes Keefe's eyes looked really good today: all blue and sparkly. If you had told fifteen year old Tam that would be gushing about Keefe Sencen's eyes… Fifteen year old Tam would have murdered you on the spot.

Keefe looked good in general today. It was quite infuriating. Blonde hair still "effortlessly" messy (i.e spent like ten minutes doing it this morning). His blue tunic was untucked. He even had a smear of the black sludge on his face. Which shouldn't have been cute.

"Tam, Tam are you okay," Keefe said waving his hand in front of Tam's eyes. It was only then that he realized that he had been staring for like two minutes already. : I know I look good but now's not the time to be ogling the Keefster."

"Yeah, I'm fine.. Just zoned out."

"Sure… Anyway before you asked about the sludge I was going to tell you that Foster wanted us to come over to her place for some _Big Important Announcement_, I have a feeling that Fitz finally popped the question."

"Finally, hasn't he been wanting to do that since like, Sophie Graduated?"

"I told her that we can be over at around three ish. Are you in? Or are you going to be a bucket of black sludge and miss out on the Mallomelt that will obviously be there?"

"Yes Keefe I'll come, I'll be the responsible one there, make sure that everyone stays in the room and doesn't set the house on fire and whatnot."

"The responsible one, yeah right, last time we had a 'family gathering' you ended up so hungover that-" Tam leaned over and kissed him hard.

"We do not speak of that night."

"Hey guys what's up?" Sophie said very obviously hiding her hands behind her back. Before they could answer she yelled, "Hey Fitz! Tam and Keefe are here get more cheese," towards the stairs. Tam had forgotten how jittery Sophie could get. He was surprised that she still had all her eyelashes. Fitz came in carrying a platter of what looked like orange plastic with wax around it. He was smiling very big and couldn't stand still enough for him and Keefe to grab some _cheese_.

They walked into the living room and saw Biana, Linh, Jensi and Marella on the couch talking quietly amongst themselves. Biana rubbing slow circles over her swollen abdomen. Dex and Wylie, were standing in a corner looking very out of place and tall compared to the rest of them. When they walked into the room. They turned and looked at Sophie and Fitz expectantly.

Tam, opting for the less social option as always, decided to look around the room that had changed since he was last here. Albeit that was three years ago. The room had been furnished very sternly, white couches with metal coffee tables and nothing else. Now since Sophie and Fitz had officially moved in together (Sophie spent most nights at Fitz's place anyway) his influence had taken over.

He recognized the picture taken at Sophie, Dex and Biana's Foxfire graduation. Just after the Neverseen had been defeated. He almost hadn't been in that photo. Tam rubbed his chest, remembering the battle, the blood. His scar gave a dull throb.

"So we have gathered you all here today because we have a very important thing to tell you," Sophie said, startling him out of his thoughts. Wow, he went real dark, real fast. He was supposed to be celebrating Sophie and Fitz's engagement, Er, he meant the "big surprise that he totally didn't see coming. "Fitz and I are…."

"Having a baby?!" Biana finished for her. "Jex, would really like a cousin," Obviously her mind had gone somewhere completely different than Tam's.

"No. No. No. No." Fitz started as Dex exclaimed,

"We are not naming our child Jex!" "Not that for a long, long, long time. Sophie and I are getting married!" Fitz finished. " I mean…" He glanced at Sophie. "Maybeeee?"

"No."

"That's even better! Now I get to plan a wedding! And get a new dress." She trailed, lost in her own thoughts. "Oh and Jex can be the flower girl and/or ring bearer!" she exclaimed. Which prompted a "We are not naming our child that!" from Dex. "Also I'm really happy for you two." Biana said as an afterthought.

Linh looked absolutely ecstatic.

"Like, congrats on your epic wedding pals. YOLO right?" she hugged the couple and then sat back down to her plate of cheese. Why the entire group was obsessed with what Tam had discovered was called 'American Cheese' and 'Baby Bell', he would never know. Personally he preferred something a little less, fake?

Sophie had been trying to teach Linh more about the forbidden cities as she was going to be a member of the collective soon ( a fact that he was quite proud of her for). She had taken a liking the abbreviations and slang of the humans and used them in everyday conversation.

Dex looked like he was reliving the time when Sophie kissed him to prove a point (one of the group's favourite stories tied with the night that shall not be named). But he stood up and hugged the pair. Probably using the opportunity to talk them out of the name 'Jex' for his child.

Tam stood up and decided that he was not going to be socially awkward this time. This would be a memory that _didn't_ make him want to do the night that shall not be named 2.

"Good Job, you did the thing and she said yes." He then promptly sat back down, and menatally slapped himself. Maybe next time. Keefe decided that he was going to go for more cheese. Instead of congratulating the couple he dive rolled over Tam and made a beeline about as straight as himself;f for the platter on the coffee table, grabbed a handful of cheese and backward somersaulted back to the couch over Tam's lap, set the cheese down and _then_ got up to Sophie with cheese on his tunic.

"Congrats, I ask only one thing of you before I accept my bestmanship, You must name you first child after me and/or Tam." Tam felt he should be honored that Keefe said "me and/or Tam" he knew how much Keefe loved himself. Keefe listed off the names he would accept (Keefie, Tammy among others). Tam remarked how as Keefe has beelined as straight as himself he was standing just as should be noted that there was a quite strong elven wine sitting on the table, and Keefe had had a few glasses and was now quite drunk. But not as drunk as- No. That night never existed.

Tam knew that Keefe loved him. Enough to move in with him. To stand up to his father for him. Enough to deal with his excessive, as Linh would say, emoness. But he also knew that there was always going to be an ache where Sophie was concerned. When Sophie and Fitz had gotten together Keefe had stopped hanging out with them for a few weeks, when Sophie and Fitz had moved in together he had gotten mildly (that's an understatement) drunk. Tam guessed that Keefe would learn to accept it eventually, but you never really get over your first crush. Even if your gay or Bi.

He decided that they should probably get going before Keefe broke something, either himself or an object.

"Thanks for the cheese Sophie, Keefe and I are going to get going now. Big day tomorrow. Congrats again and stay safe okay, don't do anything that I wouldn't do."

"Which means that we can things that you _would_ do." Fitz said, laughing already. He knew where this was going… "Hey Sophie! Go grab more wine! We're partying like Tam tonight" A faint "Hell yeah!" came from the house. Despite himself he was smiling. That was something that fifteen year old Tam gawk at. He found Keefe outside on the porch and grabbed his light leaping crystal from his pocket. He grabbed Keefe's hand, raised the crystal to the sky and stepped into the light.

"Hey Tam?" Keefe asked when they were settled in bed that night. He was happy to know that the black sludge washed out after only one shower.

"Yeah Keefe? What's up?"

"The sky duh, the proper question is what's on my mind." Tam pushed the glasses (don't tell anybody) up his nose and set his book down. He had a feeling that his would be something he should be mostly awake for."The answer to that question is this. Am I ever going to stop thinking about the _what ifs?_ I love you more than I ever thought I would and could, but there's just this feeling that their making so many memories and I just can't stop thinking about what if it was me? You know. What if Sophie and I had gotten together and that was me standing at the door with a platter of cheese?"

"Keefe, I can't properly answer that question. What if you and Sophie had gotten together? Than I know that things would have gone differently during the fight against the Neverseen. Because do you remember what happened that day? More specifically with us"

"Tam where are you going with this?"

"Answer the question."

"We were fighting and then Sophie did some weird telepathy thing and we won."

"Us Keefe." Tam grabbed his hand. "What happened with us that day?"

"We were together, not together together but we were fighting together."

"And?" Tam prompted.

"And… We got caught in a Neverseen trap."

"Right and do you remember why were fighting together?"

"Because it was originally supposed to be you and Sophie and me and Fitz but Fitz wanted to spend time with Sophie and swapped you."

"Exactly, which leads me to my next point."

"Careful there, the voice you use on your students is coming out."

"What I was saying is that if you and Sophie had gotten together. Then Fitz wouldn't have had a reason to swap. Sophie and Fitz didn't become full cognates until they got together."

Keefe looked confused. "You would have stayed with Fitz and when you two inedvitently got caught in the trap…"

"We would have been delayed?"

"No, when you and I were caught in that trap my shadows sensed something coming and I pushed you out of the way."

"I you hadn't been there I would have been impaled. I would have died." The unspoken words hung heavy in the air. Like he almost was. Keefe rubbed a hand over the scar on his chest then leaned down and kissed the spot.

"Probably, I mean it's time so who am I to judge I teach Elven History. I say this as your friend and not your boyfriend, if you and Sophie had gotten together you never would have worked out. So what if they're making memories together. You and I can make memories together. We already have the house and the furniture. Maybe our memories won't be like Sophie and Fitz's but they'll be like us. The pranking the teasing and the good morning kisses, that's all us baby. They're _our_ memories _our _moments. I love you, you're my I don't know heart to my darkness or something. We can even have our own name like Sophitz but better."

"Kam, I like Kam," said Keefe more sober than he was a few minutes ago.

"I'm quite partial to Teefe myself but whatever floats your boat Keefe,"

"You just want Teefe because it has your name first."

"Well you just like Kam for the same reasons." Keefe scooted closer and took Tam's face in his hands.

"You have a way with words Tam, I love you."

"I love you too. You should drink some water, your pretty drunk right now and

"Come here," Keefe said a lost twinkle in his eyes. He leaned the fraction of an inch closer and kissed Tam. They stayed that way for a long time, until air was needed and it couldn't be put off any longer. He pulled back and settled his head right between Tam's shoulder and his chest. Where his ear could hear Tam's heart beating. Not dead, but here, alive.

"G'night Tam," mumbled Keefe, sleepily wrapping his arms around Tam's waist. That was something else fifteen year old Tam would have gawked at.

"Night Keefe," said Tam, affectionately kissing blond hair on top of Keefe's head. He looked at his already sleeping face. His calm, peaceful, worriless face. He thought back to his teenage years, to all the pain and suffering he put himself through, all the sleepless nights and sore muscles cuts and bruises and broken bones. Looking over his shoulder wondering whether this was the day he would die, and he knew without a single doubt in his mind that he would go through that five times, just to end up where he was today. Home.


End file.
